The LA Fox Developer Newsletter

A PC Odyssey (Con’t from page 6)

“We can’t do that, Mr. Lee. That’s not according to our procedures.”

After a brief discussion on the merits of change
orders and procedures, I succumb, defeated.

Five days later, I call Dell to get the order status from my customer rep. I’m told my order will be shipping late because of a shortage of memory cache chips. But, wait a second. Wasn’t my previous order in process , meaning there wasn’t a shortage of cache? Finally the day arrives (now three weeks since the original order was placed) when I’m supposed to get the machine, but it doesn’t show. I call Dell and learn there is now a shortage of Pentium chips and motherboards, and the unit will probably not ship until the last week of October (six weeks since the original order was placed). I try to exert a little pressure indicating that I’m not only in a position to make Dell my company’s standard, but I’m also in the position of recommending their machines for client purchases.

After a brief discussion on the merits of my position, I succumb, defeated.

Now, in a panic because I’ve lost a few thousand dollars in billable/productive time, I spend the weekend scouring the local countryside for someone who will build my PC, with the components I want. I locate one. “When do you think it’ll be ready?” “Three days, Mr. Lee.”

Heart racing with excitement, I call Dell and cancel my order. “OK, that’s fine”, I’m told matter-of-factly.

After more than 15 years in the manufacturing arena (before becoming an independent consultant), several of them spent implementing manufacturing information systems, it boggles my mind that Dell would provide this kind of service; it boggles my mind that they are so locked into their procedures they can’t be the least bit flexible; it boggles my mind that their inventory system cannot accurately report parts-in-stock allocated parts vs parts-on-order; it boggles my mind that their order system does not “talk” to their inventory system.

But what really amazes me is that they didn’t eve care enough to stop and ask “Why?”.

October 1995

If Operating Systems

Were Beers

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it’s no longer available.

Mac Beer: At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a “light” beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that “you don’t need to know.” A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

Windows 3.1 Beer: The world’s most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer’s. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

OS/2 Beer: Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously too, but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans won’t explode when you open them, even if you shake them up. You never really see anyonedrinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold.

Windows 95 Beer: You can’t buy it yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it and claim it’s wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer’s can, but tastes more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows 95 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when

(Con’t, page 8)

Page 7